John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
