Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
