I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
