I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
