So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
