you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
