go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
