I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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