matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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