I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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