In the future we'll all be gay
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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