He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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