Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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