it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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