Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My ass is underappreciated
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
