I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
