Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
