Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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