If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
