he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
