ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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