I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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