I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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