He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
