Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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