Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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