my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
