so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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