You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
