we have officially lost it.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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