just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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