This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
