There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
