He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so let's talk penis.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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