i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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