is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
