There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
