Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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