is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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