bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
