I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
