About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
