Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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