? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
