he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
