Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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