YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
