He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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