apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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