Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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